camellia smile

"i found the ideal you, i threw away the un-ideal you,
afterwards, i simply keep the unideal you away from me"

there was no need to look back on those old times washed away by the rain
because there wasn't very much joy
without hearing "your" voice i turned you away
because even now i remember "her"

that spring we had promised, with my beautiful "her", has completely passed over
"her" laughter then surely was happiness
the season passes without meaning
is "she" waiting for me?
or just tenderly laughing instead?

the place "she" lives in was in disarray
worry and unease brought on by an unreachable voice
each time i see a different body that isn't "her", under this rubble,
i just wish "you" would die

the ideal, camellia smiling "she" i remember,
because i always want to feel this happiness
the heart colored with poison, un-ideal "you",
like an old woman, should just remember the past.

"she", without saying a word would softly laugh
in our beautiful white castle, near completion, we drew close to each other
"her" sadness is my sadness
"you" have nothing to do with this happiness


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